Shalom Schwartz’s work on personal values is the most studied and peer-reviewed in that field. The science tells us there are 10 principal values, sitting within a framework that can help managers and leaders easily identify where their team members are ‘coming from’ when they interact. This understanding can then be used to create a more harmonious work environment for everyone.
This diversity of thought, coming from the drivers behind our values, is valuable in all organisations, yet many still don’t know what they are or how to best leverage them.
This is where Schwartz’s work comes in. It’s now a workshop that can be covered in about 2.5 to 3 hours with any team, helping them identify their own personal values as well as those of their colleagues.
Here’s a short article on how you can use personal values to speak into someone’s listening, because, as we know, the message sent, is actually the one that was received.
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Background
I know it’s a bit of a cliché, but your personal values are like the roots of a tree. They keep you grounded. They feed and sustain you. They’re what drive the way you think, speak, behave, and show up in the world – in every part of your life.
The thing is, those roots are underground. No one can actually see them. We’re not walking around with our values tattooed on our forehead. Which means sometimes we end up in conflict with people, not because of the actual words we’re using, but because our root systems – our values – are clashing.
Ever had one of those conversations where you think, “Am I speaking a different language? I’m sure I’m being clear, but they’re just not getting it!”? That’s often not about communication at all – it’s about two different sets of values quietly butting heads.
The tricky part? Most people don’t even know what their values are, let alone have a way to talk about them.
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Speaking into Their Listening
In any organisation, people bring with them a unique set of personal values. These values shape what they pay attention to, how they interpret information, and ultimately how they respond to decisions and change.
When conflicts arise, especially those rooted in differing values, there’s often more at play than simple disagreement over facts. We may be talking at each other, but not into each other’s listening. This phrase refers to the ability to adapt our language and framing so that it resonates with the other person’s value set – allowing them to feel seen, heard, and included in the process.
Consider the common tension between “openness to change” and “conservation” values in organisations:
- Openness to change types are energised by new ideas, innovation, and forward momentum.
- Conservation types feel grounded in tradition, process, and delivering on existing commitments before moving on to the next challenge.
If we want to bridge that divide, we can’t simply repeat our own perspective louder or with more conviction. Instead, we must consciously adapt our message so that it aligns with what matters most to them.
For example, when speaking to someone with strong conservation values about a new initiative, you might:
- Emphasise the continuity with proven practices rather than focusing solely on novelty.
- Highlight how risks have been assessed and mitigated.
- Connect the change to protecting stability and the team’s long-term wellbeing.
This isn’t about manipulation – it’s about empathy and precision in communication. By speaking into someone’s listening, you reduce resistance, foster trust, and make it possible for both sides to collaborate more effectively.
Leaders who master this skill transform potential conflict into productive dialogue. They not only get their message across but also build the kind of workplace culture where differing values are recognised as complementary strengths rather than competing agendas.
If this workshop, which can be completed online or in person, looks, sounds and feels like it would be useful to your team, hit this link to book a coffee and a chat or if you’re too busy for coffee, a chat!